So, I’ve been digging through my old posts and realizing my life was much more interesting a couple years ago. There were crazy nights of rejection followed by monsoon-drenched sex, late-night outdoor blowjobs underneath the Verrazano, roof parties and stairwell sex, lots of fucking laughs, aaaandd…. a whole bunch of other shit. You get it.
Turns out I’ve lived a fucking lot. At least compared to some?
Who cares. What’s it got me? Maybe I’ll super duper SEO those stories and somehow unleash the power of Google, thereby harnessing millions of fresh, unjudging eyeballz, magically get recognized as a literary powermachine and have tons of fame tossed my way. All the fame. Anyway. I was listening to a lot of old Memphis early rock n roll recordings recently for a job and discovered this gem by Johnny Cash:
Now, I find myself having #thoughts about morning sex, and I kind of want to ramble about those. But I probably won’t, other than to posit that I maybe don’t quite get it (I mean, I get “it”; I just don’t “get” it). Instead, I’ve decided that maybe a calendar of what’s going on in NY this weekend/next week of the summertivity variety would be more funducive to funjoyment. Can I get a youtube link in here first? I dunno, I haven’t “discovered” anything good lately. Woe, woe is me. This is pretty and summery though:
So, I start with the Skint’s movie list, remove the films I’m super definitely not going to see, and add shit from all the links here, and more placezzz. I might update as I filter through my promotions inbox and get MOAR DEETZ.
GET YOUR CAMERAPHONE OUT BOY!! It’s MANHATTANHENGE!!! (that thing when the sun lines up parallel to the numbered streets in Manhattan and everyone gawks and hides their solitary tear for the joy of random beauty filling their hearts)
Here Dat Calendar, Now. Week of this one.
Saturday 7/11 An overwhelming mash of choices that involve effort. Might just play video games and order a pizza, but I’ll be sad I did.
Free Slurpees. Don’t even waste your time trying.
Baby’s All Right: Baby Birds Don’t Drink Milk, Mega Bog, Julie Byrne, Leisure – 8pm
Cameo Gallery: Braeves, Good Graeff – 8pm
Prospect Park (FREE): The New Pornographers, Thao & The Get Down Stay Down – 7ish pm
E. Billburg Mystery Venue – Dance party with headphonez only silent disco thang on the roof of said mystery place (now announced)
Sunday 7/12 – Almost too hot for the beach but you should go because it’s SUNNY, fucker.
Go see a pay, indoor movie.
Go to the new Whitney.
Underachieve, feel bland.
That Sculpture Garden in Queens. Florent Ghys plays post-pop stuff. 3pm. Impress your friends, probably don’t enjoy yourself.
Grand Army Plaza – Food Truck Armageddon. “Activity” of last resort to fill the middle hours before your ambition wanes.
Waystation (Prospect Heights) – The Princess Bride – 4pm
Mr. Sunday – Sunset Park – 3 to 9pm – Maybe finally do this Dance Party in Bottom Brooklyn before they move it all to Ridgewood.
Monday 7/13 -Fight the fact you’re back at work by throwing yourself into something performative tonight.
Littlefield – Night Train – Wyatt Cenac won’t be there, so neither will you.
Union Hall – World of Boning – sex ed-based comedy show. Probably do this. Sit in the back and cackle with abandon, then leave before the lights go up.
Back to the Future II (1989), Randall’s island park
Caddyshack (1980), Crown Victoria. Who’m I kidding, it’s Monday, I’m not going to a goddamn bar in Williamsburg to watch a fucking movie.
Tuesday TEE BEEE DEEE, okaaaay?!
And all the rest of the week, too. I got ice creamz to eat. Byeeeeeee.
Well. It’s full on Summer in NYC. Summer sets off a cascade of intense FOMO in the exiled hermit, because there’s just SO MUCH shit going on. Every year I scramble to get on top of the events, free outdoor movies, free outdoor concerts, museums-turned-dance-parties, free ice creamz, beach outings, topless parades, and multitude of paid shit that’s generally even better than all that rubbish. I actually do a fairly good job grabbing summer by the balls and squeezing all the sunshiney juices from it. Continue reading No, what are YOU going to do?
Well, I’ve been dumped. In truly record time. Again. Karma, though: I totally deserve it considering how often I do the same thing. I feel that if there’s anything the internet-facilitated hyper speed of our communications these days is good for, it’s dumping someone super quick. And deciding they needed to be dumped in the first place. I’ve gone on record recently stating my preference for the time-honored fade-away (I think there are 2 or three girls using this method on me RIGHT NOW, and God love ’em), and this recent experience affirms it. For oh so many reasons. Continue reading In Which the Cad Gets a Taste