Exile No More

Well….  so…. here’s the thing.  After an 18 year silence, I’m getting on this dumb waste of money to announce that I’m no longer living out on the edge of nowhere.  In other words, the literal part of the “exile” thing is basically over.  I moved back into some semblance of where the action is.  I guess.  I don’t feel as lightened and energized as I’d expected to feel and so far the benefits are mild.  Basically my commute is shorter, and it’s easier to get to things people want me to get to.  Which is good when it happens, Continue reading Exile No More

Meet Me Tomorrow, We’ll Be Fucking

So, my suicidal, tattooed friend who loves anal sex and getting punched in the face (preferably during) recently had a date planned with a guy she’s referring to as “That Irish Guy.”  The date was basically him coming over.  That’s it.  They were just going to have sex, and maybe order food.  She complained to me that it didn’t sound very exciting or interesting, but she’d already basically consented, so she guessed she’d go through with it.

Another friend of mine (in London), who loves none of those things and gets squeamish at the word “vagina,” had a guy coming over to her houseboat to hang out.  He pushed for a “no-sex” sleepover and she agreed.  She texted me before he arrived, totally dejected and wishing she was having a regular date.  Staring down the barrel of being with someone she hardly knows for a good 14 hours, and knowing that it would probably have to kick off with sex (even though they totally weren’t supposed to) had her incredibly down.

This type of thing is happening a lot lately and I think it’s really interesting how we (meaning, anecdotally speaking, the people around me who are dating, which I take as indication that it’s happening all over a LOT MORE frequently) are pre-arranging sex more and more often and getting less and less interested in actually seeing it through. Continue reading Meet Me Tomorrow, We’ll Be Fucking

Some Things Take Time

So I’ve been thinking a lot about impotence lately.  Totally because of several close calls and one bona fide occurrence.  I’ve also been thinking about how the most popular post on this blog by far was my bitching about how the blow jobs have vanished.  Gone, like the buffalo and the unicorns:

There really is no mystery about the unicorn myth, for what it’s worth.  Skittish-yet-majestic mountain of muscle with one prominent, usually spiral-ridged, horn projecting from where its brain should be? Appears exclusively to virgins or innocent maids? Just STAAAAHP.  We get it. Continue reading Some Things Take Time

A New Way to Half-Ass

Did I point out that this site has a real deal events calendar yet?  I did? I’m doing it again.  Not because I expect it to honestly become a thing that I update and which people check regularly, but to take the opportunity to point out that a woman I slept with is participating in one of these events.  ON STAGE.  I need a win, however tenuous:  She’s successful, we boned, therefore I’m successful-by-proxy.

Or is that sad-and-alone? Tough to tell.

Anyway, check it out here if you’re looking for something to do.  You might find something, but probably not!