The Long Swallow

Well, so. If this blog is supposed to be about growing up, facing the less cool parts of livin’, and moving on with the business of aging gracefully, I suppose I should share this day’s activities.

I got a gastresophageal–something something endoscopy today. Apologies for the commercial at the front of the video.

Not much to say about it, really.  It was a bummer going to this thing alone and having noone waiting to see how I was doing.  I did get some semi-anonymous facebook love from high school classmates, but I had to practically beg for it by posting a few links and mentioning it in my status.

I’ve always been very independent.  In fact it’s one of my biggest faults.  But this living just out of reach of a whole sack of shit that seems like amazing fun is seriously wearing me down.  It’s hard to come home every day to a giant empty apartment and not have the option of stepping out for a few drinks with some friends.  Or even alone, with the possibility of interesting conversation with like-minded strangers.

So I recently read this book, The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz, and it tackled some of the roots of this ennui I’m feeling.  (Is it even called that? Do I care to make sure that’s correct?)… I recommend the book to anyone currently regretting any decisions they’ve made, or struggling to make some choice that seems life-or-death. It isn’t a very good book, but it had some nuggets.  Suffice to say I should know better than to pine away over something I didn’t even really have when I lived in the fucking center of it all.

Still, coming home alone all groggy from anesthesia wasn’t the high point of this month.