One of the biggest hurdles to writing this memoir I’m cooking is unpacking my relationship with my dad. When he died about 5 years ago (right after I shipped off to exile), we hadn’t spoken in about 8 years. The years before that weren’t exactly full of quality time either. In fact, he’d been at a fair distance my whole life, and especially after I hit high school. Most of that was my doing, in the sense that it was my choice to shut him out of my mind and heart, so of course now that he has the ultimate last word (that of no last word forever), I can’t compare our memories of key events, or really try to understand him and his motivations and fears. It makes it really tough to find some truths about what made me the guy I am today. And it’s plain sad, too. Continue reading Ok, Getting Serious
Ok, so I’m going to start off with the pap. I happened to watch a little television tonight, having gotten home late and needing something to distract me from a monster headache and a pile of unfulfilled dreams. I was canceling a gym membership and picking up (yeah picking up myself, not having it brought to me which is what ya pay for) a package from the fedex compound in Brooklyn, if you wanted to know.
So anyway, I was watching this new reality gameshow competition thing called “The Sing-Off,” which if you haven’t seen the ads is like “Star Search” but with group contestants only. Or as I’m sure the show’s creators pitched it, it’s like “Glee” meets “American Idol” by way of “So You Think You Can Dance.” Sheesh I’m done with the fucking quotation marks. Italics from now on. If you don’t know any of those references, it’s an a capella group competition with three judges (dude, Ben Folds is one, and he’s like a kindly yet serious high school music instructor).
I’m pretty much hooked even though I despise every single one of the other shows this thing takes it’s cue/influence from. Mostly because the groups competing are actually kind of bad. Plus they eliminated the only group with a compelling non-musical back story tonight (called Solo, from a poverty stricken neighborhood somewhere). Making it to the next round were at least two incredibly white lady groups who sang without much soul or character or emotion or whatever.
My favorite moment, other than the super short solo of the tall dude from Solo who had this buttery Lou Rawls meets Marvin Gaye with like a tiny smidge of Johnny Mathis voice that will definitely make him rich and laid, was when the elimination bit got down to its final two groups (Solo and Gaggle Of White Housewives [sic]). There was a moment when both groups were huddled together clasping hands tightly, waiting in painful anticipation. There was some serious shit riding on it, and both groups had reason to believe they were going home. I personally expected them to eliminate the WASPs…. So anyway, both groups had a member who was visibly praying to god. It was almost like a mini competition to see who could get god to pick them with the most devout pleas. I sound callous… Yep. White ladies church group no 1 won. Bleh. They sucked.
Other topics? Well… it’s Xmas time and I’ve got to decide who to blow money on. I’m in a little bit of a fight with part of my family, so I’m thinking of sending them all something really thoughtful to pour on the guilt. Haven’t gotten much in the way of family contact from them since we all “reconciled” 2 years ago that I haven’t initiated. They pissed me off recently so I haven’t initiated any contact with them and suddenly they’re all “you’re so quiet, is something wrong?” Well, if you get a christmas present, then yes, I hate you. Just not sure what to get them. I’m becoming a real fan of small stuff. There’s an incredible variety of tiny things to get people… It lends itself well to finding something “personal,” like a flask for a certain alcoholic asshole.
On the coworkers front: more and more surreal. I’m starting to get shit from the idiots new boss for not tattling on them when they don’t do their work. As I wrote that, I just realized that she probably had a few talks with them, and they probably blamed their lack of involvement in their own projects on me. Like I’m an ogre and I chase them away from their own shit. Sighs. It would be nice to work on something that isn’t absolutely embarrassingly awful. For once. Please universe.
Ok, first and foremost. Comments. If you are reading this blog, let me know you exist by chiming in or saying howdy. In the future I’ll try to create some discussion worthy posts, with questions and such. Or don’t comment. But it could be fun. You can do it completely anonymously. No need to enter any private info, just put a nickname and you can post! Sweet, i know. Click it NOW!
The juicy bits: I closed my okcupid account. Ok I just disabled it this time (yes, I have been here before). Only this time, instead of it being like I’m fleeing from the crush of psychotic and mediocre girls desperately clamoring to slice my skin off and wear it as a hipster-suit, it’s a more reasoned and deliberate flight. I have some very convincing reasons (to me) for why online dating will never work for me as more than a place to meet friends who I might possibly sleep with. Except I seem to not be interested in that at all. Basically, the process of browsing through potential matches and trying out some and ditching others is too much like shopping online. It sucks out the excitement of real life. Plus I was addicted to the constant, mild ego boost.
Also, I have purchased two badges to the northside festival, and I suggest you check it out if you want your hipster friends to like you. I will like you even if you don’t. Too lazy? It’s like if some hipsters in Brooklyn woke up and realized that all the bands that make other festivals hop actually LIVE HERE. So they all ALL are booked and playing in June in the hipster triangle. I’m just hoping I find someone to share the extra badge with, but I’m sure this time I’ll be able to sell it.
Lastly, check out the Leila (pronounced Lila) texts blog here. It’s mildly funny. The concept is that this girl gets every text on Verizon addressed to “Leila”. Which apparently Verizon lets you text to a name… who knew? I’ve met this girl and she’s hilarious. The hilarity doesn’t quite come across on the screen, but it’s still fun.
Well this is going to be short… For once. Am I right?! Eh? High five! Zing!
Went to a great show last night. It was part theater/comedy and part actual musicianship. Les Funky Bitches Fantastique at the Sidewalk Cafe. I went because some friendly acquaintances were in the show and the audience. And there were possibly going to be a lot of them. In fact, there were only two. But they’re top of my list of friendly acquaintances (has anyone come up with a word for that? did I in a past blog? I should now… associates? no.) that I like and really enjoy being around. So it was a great time. I encourage you to see the group perform on like a second date. Perfect second date.
And my mom arrives in 4 hours! We’re gonna chillax, have a nice dinner at a steakhouse here in the neighborhood, probably clean my apartment, go for a walk. She’s here to be my date to the big awards show I’m part of tomorrow. In which I may win two awards, but probably not because super super awesome things only happen to me once per year, and they usually wait until the end. Or did I just make that ridiculous shit up? Yes. Yes I did.