Days Can Suck

Well, so why does today suck, you might be wondering? Yeah? Ok… first, the medical bullshit.  So I recently got billed for my last visit to the stomach specialist, which was a follow-up to my upper endoscopy, which revealed I have acid reflux… The bill had a charge for a test that wasn’t done.  And now i’m wondering if I should report these assholes to my insurance provider, because they have cut me a check for the amount and they also put a nice toll-free number on it for reporting insurance fraud.  So I called the doctor to see how he would react.

And this is why I sometimes love but mostly hate this fucking city.  You are forced to constantly and actively fight for yourself.  It happens when you get a sandwich at a deli, it happens when you buy an apartment, and apparently it happens when you see a specialist about your recent diagnosis of GERD.  The other guy is ALWAYS testing your boundaries, trying to squeeze you for as much as they can, or trying to get away with doing as little as possible, and it can be a good way to build up some more aggressive skills.  But it gets OOOLLLDDDDD. Especially when people who are supposed to be taking care of you get pushy.

So the guy was like, “So what, it was like 3 dollars more?” And I’m like, no it was six.  But that’s not the point.  So he asks, “Well then what do you want to happen?”

Fuck.  If only I had prepared a list of possible ways they could make this up to me beforehand.  I wasn’t ready for him to put it back on me, but it’s a pretty classic maneuver here in the city, so I should’ve been.  Anyway, my response was that if i ever actually DO have to have this test done, they need to do it for free. “Ok, sure.” he said. “Is that all?”

Asshole.  Of course it won’t be that simple in the unlikely event that i really do need the test.  First off, I will have gone to a different specialist because I’ll be damned if I EVER go back to that prick.  Which brings me to the other part of that whole episode that has got me all upset: I called my general practice doctor to see if he had received all the test info from the stomach guy (the tests they actually ran) and the receptionist put my doctor on the phone.

He said, “Your guy left me a note about your endoscopy.”

Oh… yeah, he didn’t have much to say to me about it. -me

“Well, there’s a note, and it says…blah blah blah hiatal hernia blah blah”

WHAT?!  Hernia?!?!  Well they didn’t tell me about that.

“Oh, it’s relatively small, he says. Not worth getting fixed.”

So my “specialist” who I have seen twice now forgot to mention that there actually is a specific CAUSE for my acid problem.  ASSHOLE!  So now I’m not sure what to do.  Pay him or report him?  I’m leaning toward reporting him.  But that feels like a surefire way to land me some negative karma.  I’m torn.

In other news, facebook has started suggesting events that multiple friends are going to.  This seems like a good idea except in the cases where I wasn’t invited…. which happened today.  This chick i invited to my st paddy’s day thing next week (which i have canceled due to lack of interest…that empty page of attendees was making me fucking depressed) and who was at a party i went to this weekend invited basically everyone on her friends list EXCEPT me.

And I’m sure it’s because I made her friend cry.  Which I would go into but I’ve already beaten that horse to death elsewhere.  Basically, this girl likes me but I’m not rich enough for her so she keeps me at arm’s length.  She also has some serious emotional issues (having confessed to me once that she has cheated on every guy she’s ever been involved with).  And when she asks me my opinion on her situation I tell the truth.  I even candy coat it to protect her delicate feelings, but it doesn’t matter.  She acts like I’ve called her a terrible monster and gets weepy and righteously mad at the same time.  It happened at the party.  Her friends hate me now (again).  Life gets messy sometimes.

The Long Swallow

Well, so. If this blog is supposed to be about growing up, facing the less cool parts of livin’, and moving on with the business of aging gracefully, I suppose I should share this day’s activities.

I got a gastresophageal–something something endoscopy today. Apologies for the commercial at the front of the video.

Not much to say about it, really.  It was a bummer going to this thing alone and having noone waiting to see how I was doing.  I did get some semi-anonymous facebook love from high school classmates, but I had to practically beg for it by posting a few links and mentioning it in my status.

I’ve always been very independent.  In fact it’s one of my biggest faults.  But this living just out of reach of a whole sack of shit that seems like amazing fun is seriously wearing me down.  It’s hard to come home every day to a giant empty apartment and not have the option of stepping out for a few drinks with some friends.  Or even alone, with the possibility of interesting conversation with like-minded strangers.

So I recently read this book, The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz, and it tackled some of the roots of this ennui I’m feeling.  (Is it even called that? Do I care to make sure that’s correct?)… I recommend the book to anyone currently regretting any decisions they’ve made, or struggling to make some choice that seems life-or-death. It isn’t a very good book, but it had some nuggets.  Suffice to say I should know better than to pine away over something I didn’t even really have when I lived in the fucking center of it all.

Still, coming home alone all groggy from anesthesia wasn’t the high point of this month.