Ok, so the story of the date with Reese has to go on hold for a second. I need to get something terrible off my chest:
I have Saturday Night Live cast friend envy. I want want want to be pals with the cast of SNL.
I think it started with the new open they came out with maybe a few years ago… obviously shot on a canon 5d (but maybe not)… with the little vignettes of each cast member out on the town in NY at night. If you haven’t really watched it, it’s basically got each cast member in a situation that might happen to someone hanging out in NY on a Friday night. Like that one chick outside of Arlene’s Grocery, or what’s-his-name getting drunk with some Japanese businessmen, or another guy on the strip in Coney Island. Rooftop BBQ’s, cruisin the Bowery with some hip friends. You know, just bein’ New Yorkers and sech. I love that I can’t for the life of me remember their names right now. Considering last night’s date conversation. And Thursday’s date conversation. Lots o’ namedroppin’.
Or maybe it started when a coworker/friend of mine was complaining that his ex girlfriend slash roommate slash future girlfriend was getting the runaround from this dude who happened to be on SNL. “Oh, really?” I asked.
“Yeah, he keeps texting her when he wants to hook up, but he clearly doesn’t even really remember who she is. He just sends super generic texts, like all exclamation points or random ‘funny’ words.”
“Hmm,” I says… “Soo… your ex is hooking up with a Saturday Night Live cast member?” I’m kind of in disbelief, but his tone had been so matter-of-fact and his focus had been so ..focused on the lameness of the texts that I was sort of swept up into playing along. Like, “Oh yeah, tell me about it, those SNL dudes are ALWAYS sending lame texts to girls I know.”
Anyway, his next point was that this was Fred Armisen. “Who isn’t even funny at all.” Not funny. And I could totally see where he was coming from, I mean he was definitely still burning a flame for this girl, and she pretty much had zero chance with this Fred guy, and a lot of times SNL skits just fall short. So yeah maybe he isn’t funny. Which obviously makes it so much worse. (huh?). This was around the beginning of the rise of the Kristen Wiig. THE Kristen Wiig (I’m incidentally appalled that being in love with her from afar is actually a cliche now! COME ON!). Anyhoozle, I go, “Yeah, he’s like the least funny,” and resolve to watch that weekend and judge for myself.
Cut to me on my couch laughing uncontrollably, covered in spilled popcorn and booze, reddened face, open fist pounding the coffee table. Fred Armisen was hilarious that night. Also, I am definitely exaggerating, but he was pretty funny, and definitely clever and good at “being funny.” Oh well. So that’s when I started thinking about them as real people I might someday get tangled up with socially. Because really, this girl has ZERO NY clout. I think she met him bartending. In Times Square. See? He’s totally not that cool. Tooootally.
The partying with peeps show opener only rubs it in.
So the whole fucking point of this big rambling mess is this: I went on two dates last week. Both of the girls spent a large portion of the night talking about their good friends who are SNL cast members (one girl was Reese, the other was let’s call her Sweden). And really, “when you get to know them they are just regular people like you and me. Not at all intimidating, but really great guys.” Really great guys. Yes. The dudes. They very definitely didn’t happen to mention how cool and sweet and talented the ladies are.
Also, yes Fred Armisen was mentioned by both! AAAAAhahahaha! I mean, why the hell not? I think the real jealousy I have is of the life of a young hip attractive SNL cast member. Basically minor NY royalty, but cool too. As in, you get a free pass to act fucking nuts, then switch gears and be “real,” and then maybe eat sushi off some 25 year old grad student’s ass because it might be hilarious you never know. Right, guys? Wouldn’t that be fucking amazing? hahaha
But it actually would be, yeah.